The dance

"We played the flute, but you did not dance..." Matthew 11:17

This morning one of my staff member handed me an interesting document. It was the script from the speech that she gave at her daughter's wedding. Knowing that I have a public speaking background, she wanted to share it with me and hear what I think of it.

It was a moving speech. At the time, her husband had passed away already and so in a way she was speaking for both of them. The speech made reference to a picture of her husband dancing with their daughter. I asked her about the picture and her eyes began to moist. She told me that at the wedding, they prominently displayed a picture of her late husband dancing with their daughter at her grade 8 graduation party. At the time, she made sure that she took a good picture of them dancing, because she knew her husband would likely not live long enough to dance with their daughter at her wedding (he was quite a bit older).

As a father of a beautiful little girl, I have often thought about that day. I have wondered if I will live long enough to dance with her. My staff's speech reminded me that's not important. What IS important is whether I hear the music today and dance with her while I still can. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. Who knows if I will get to dance with my little girl at her wedding someday. But I can live today, and each day, giving myself to her in such a way that even if I am not there to dance when that day comes, she can say, "It's okay. I danced with my daddy already."

"Hope is the ability to hear the music of tomorrow;
but faith is having the courage to dance to it today."

A Quiet Longing after a busy weekend

I felt slightly weary driving to work today after a busy weekend. As I mentioned in my previous post, we were busy cleaning up and purging stuff on Saturday. On Sunday we did a little more cleaning up, had lunch with my parents, did some grocery shopping, and as usual, I went to play hockey at night (and as usual, our team lost, but that's another story for another post :) In the car this morning I was going through in my mind the list of things we did this weekend. At the same time I started another mental list of all the things we still have to do before Christmas comes (yikes!). Let's see...we are putting down new floors at home, our office is moving, I have a whole bunch of meetings to line up before Christmas with potential corporate funding partners for our agency, oh my...I am getting a headache :(


It was just another busy, enjoyable, but uneventful weekend. And it occured to me, that it was another weekend without church. It's been more than a year since I've been in church. But after what was done to us by some in our own church, I still do not feel I can "entrust" myself and my family to another "Christian community". But this morning, as I ponder upon the arrival of yet another Christmas, there was a quiet longing to belong somewhere and to invest our lives to make a difference in the life of another community. Although right now the wounds still feel fresh, I hope one day I can allow myself to belong again.

Thoughts from a day of purging...

"Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body" (Ecc 12:12)

Today, in preparation for doing some renovations in the house, we spent the day doing some much needed "purging". As part of that process, Anna and I went through our collection of books, some of them from our university days, and donated almost all of them.

As we pick the books off the shelves, it was like a journey through time. Each phase of our life journeys were marked by certain books that spoke to us during that time. It was interesting to see how in our earlier days as young Christians we were drawn to books that defined the Christian faith in black and white terms. There were books on how to "defend" our faith, books that spelled out the "definitive Christian position" in no uncertain terms on a variety of ethical issues, books that gave "tried and true" tips on how to "win over secular people", just to name a few. I think both Anna and I felt that in a very real sense, we have "outgrown" those books. Not to say that we are "smarter" than those writers by any means, but we just felt that is not how we approach faith anymore. So, into the donation bin they went.

Then we came upon our big collection of "Christian marriage" books. That was a significant moment for both of us. There was a time when both of us really "believed" in the "recipes for a great marriage" presented in those books. But, after having gone through what happend last year, again, both of us felt a sense of having "outgrown" them. So, all of them ended up in the donation bin.

I think the one main reason why all those Christian books simply don't resonnate with us anymore is that we are both longing for an approach to faith that is not afraid to face up to the ugliness that exist within the "Evangelical Christian religion". Having been betrayed and abandoned by those in our church, we know that the "Christian community" is not always a wonderful place to be. And having seen the hypocrisy of how many Christian leaders having marriages that looked great in church on Sunday mornings but are in shambles once they got into the car, we are tired of the idea that somehow Christians have "cornered the market" on good and healthy marriages.

I think both of us are seeking to be part of a Christian community that takes the reality of "brokenness" seriously. One that is opened to admitting that "Yes, we are broken. None of us are better than anyone else. And yes, that brokenness rear its ugly, really ugly head in our personal lives as well as in our community. And yes, there are times that we as a church end up hurting people. But if we admit it, if we acknowledge it, if we don't pretend we are better than we actually are, then perhaps we can take the first step towards demonstrating what the Gospel is about."

Toward the end of the day, I came across the "trophy" that I was given at my 10th anniversary at my old church. It was a quiet emotional moment for me. As I slowly put the trophy into one of the garbage bags, I felt incredibly sad. It was ironic. I felt sad, because I felt nothing at all...

A New Day...

Last night I had my first performance review by the Board of Directors. Now, after working for over 20 years, I am not usually anxious about these things. But this is my first one since I joined the field of social services, and I found myself somewhat nervous.

As it turned out, they were extremely generous and gracious in all their comments for me. Just as I was starting to "feel the love" in the room, a small voice from the back of my mind said, "Wait...they used to give you glowing reviews for 17 years too..."

Call it another baby step forward, but I was able to say to myself, "Don't think about that anymore. Don't look back. Learn to enjoy and be thankful for this moment..."

Today, as part of my work with poverty and homelessness, we lent out our meeting room to host a focus group on the reality of poverty among new immigrant seniors from the Iranian community. I had the opportunity to welcome the particpants as they arrived. As I shook their hands and greeted them, I saw in their eyes a sense of thankfulness for the opportunity to voice their struggles, and perhaps a glimmer of hope that this will lead to changes in how we understand homelessness and poverty down the road.

After greeting them, I left them to start their meeting. Again I found myself thinking, "Don't think about the past anymore. This is your work today. Be thankful for the opportunity."

As I look outside my office window, the afternoon sun is setting. Perhaps I need to learn to allow the sun from my yesterday to set, so that the new dawn of my tomorrow can finally come.

Tuesdays with Morrie

Last Friday we went with a few friends to see the play "Tuesdays with Morrie", based on the book by Mitch Albom.  The play consisted of a series of conversations between Mitch and his old college professor, Dr. Morrie Schwartz.  The visits always took place on Tuesdays, thus the name of the book.

When Mitch graduated from college, he promised to keep in touch with his favorite professor (Morrie Schwartz), whom he affectionately called "Coach".  But after he left school, life took over busy and it was 16 years later when he by chance found out that Morrie was slowly dying of Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS).  He decided to go back to Boston to visit Morrie.  What was intended as a one time visit turned into a weekly mentoring session between teacher and pupil.   During those visits, they talked about life, love, work, happiness, forgiveness, music, dancing, egg salad, and just about everything else.  Sometimes the dialogue leaves you laughing, sometimes in tears, but always in thought.

Partly because of what I have gone through in the last year, I found myself deeply resonnating with the message of the play.  "Tuesdays with Morrie" is about teaching and learning.  At first glance it may appear that Morrie was the "teacher" and Mitch was the "student".  But in reality, they are both "students", and life itself was the teacher.

This past year has seen me take apart everything I thought to be "true" in my faith and, in a real way, start from the beginning again.  Through this process, I have come to see a fundamental flaw in ways we approach "faith development" or "Christian Education" in the church:

In the church, faith education, or Christian education is done "incrementally". In other words, you teach something today, and what you teach tomorrow is based on what you have taught yesterday.  You keep building on previous "layers".  This way of learning encourages confidence on what was learned before, as it forms the "foundation" for new learning.  For the most part, this is how we learn things like Science or Mathematics.  For instance, in math, you first learn addition, and then with that as a foundation, you learn multiplication.  

But there is a different way to learn.   Sometimes new things are learned from completely tearing down old learnings and starting fresh again.  For example, when engineers design a car, they build a prototype, they push it to failure, break it down, and then start fresh again to build a better prototype.   Rather than encouraging unquestioned confidence in what was learned before, this way of learning assumes flaws in previous thoughts and ideas.  It seeks to expose them, and then start again.

It seems to me that faith is taught/learned/developed this way.  Faith development needs to begin with an assumption that there are flaws in our understanding.   Rather than blindly holding on what was learned before, faith developes when our previously held ideas are shattered, and we are forced to start over again.   In other words, faith is developed not by discovering how right we were, but by being confronted with how wrong we have been.  For biblical examples, think of Paul, or Peter.

For me, Tuesdays with Morrie reminded me again that the key to unlock this way of learning is humility.  If one needs evidence to show that our ways of "Christian Education" is not working, one needs to look no further than the abundance of arrogance in the church today.

Familiar with grief....

"He was a man of sorrow, familiar with grief..." (Isaiah 53:3)

I am not sure why, but I have been thinking about these words a lot lately.

You know how something can become so familiar that you hardly even notice it's there anymore? Like an old pair of jeans, it feels so much like a part of you. Until one day you put on a different pair and you go, "Whoa, this is different!"

Each night I drift to sleep hearing the familiar voices of rejection and judgement. Each day I wake to that familiar ache of emptiness and loneliness. Like that old pair of jeans, grief has become something I am so familiar with....

Then, something remarkable slowly began to happen. For the first time in my life, I felt as though I was...getting to know Jesus. I feel like I am beginning to understand what it was like for him to be betrayed by those whom he trusted and loved, to be condemned, judged and rejected. To be a man who is, like Isaiah says, familar with grief.

I find that I no longer look to Jesus for "healing" or "deliverance" or to pray and ask for the any number of things I used to preach about. Instead, I found myself looking up this morning, saying (praying?!). "It must have been so hard for you..."

Small Signs of Encouragement

Today I was scheduled to give a speech at another non-profit community service agency. This agency has a program geared to youths with troubled pasts and aims to give them a fresh start in finding a career, and I was supposed to give a "movivational speech". All morning I was debating whether to go or not because I could barely get two words out without coughing up a lung. Finally I decided: "Okay, I'll go give the talk, and the go stright home to rest."

As soon as I was brought into the room, I could tell it was a tough crowd. At least when I used to speak in churches, people would "pretend" to be interested. Here, folks feel no such obligation. The indifference in the room was so real that you could almost reach out and touch it. But...strangely enough, I found myself "liking" it. It was...honest.

I talked about various things to try and find something that would capture at least a bit of interest. It was a classic case of "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks". (political sidebar: kind of like the McCain campaign these days...political sidebar over) Towards the end, I decided to look them in the eye and said, "The truth is, where you came from, what you had done, what led you here means absolutely zero now. You are in a place where you CAN start fresh. Whether this leads anywhere, is up to you." As I said that, one of the youth gave a good slap to his friends sitting next to him who had slept through my whole talk, to try to wake him up to hear what I was saying.

I don't know why, but that made my day. You'd think after doing this for so many years, stuff like this don't matter anymore. But I guess I found out again that none of us ever out grow our need to be encouraged, even by the smallest gestures. I just hope I have done the same for at least a couple of them this afternoon.

Some pictures from our trip

It's been a few days since we came back from our Vancouver-Hawaii trip. I have finally got around to posting some pictures on line. Go to the links below, and hope you enjoy them :-)

http://picasaweb.google.ca/alfred.lam/Vancouver2008#

http://picasaweb.google.ca/alfred.lam/Hawaii2008#

Sights of Hawaii

We've been in Hawaii for only two days and I have already fallen in love with this place. I mean, I have been to other "Sun n' Sand" vacationing places before, but none of them compare to Honolulu with its combination of GREAT weather, rich local culture, significant history and interesting people. We have met a number of "unique" people as well as lovely scenary. I have been shooting tons of pictures and will get an album together soon after we get back. In the mean time, we will try to enjoy every minute of time we have left here :-)

Celebrity (sort of) Sighting...

Hi everyone! Just thought I'd give you a quick update on our trip so far...(for those who don't know, we are on vacation to Vancouver and Hawaii!) While in Vancouver, we saw Marc Crawford the NHL coach at the airport. I know, I know...BIG DEAL... I guess you hockey fans out there might appreciate this :-)

Anyhow, while we were sitting in the plane (West Jet) waiting to go to Hawaii, the crew was going through the usual preflight announcement. As they were wrapping up, the man sitting next to me got up, went to the front, and the crew handed him the mic. I thought, "Hm...this is interesting..." I thought he must be a doctor or something...

Then he said, "Hello everyone, My name is Sean Durfy, President and CEO of WestJet, and I will be flying with all of you this evening to Honolulu. Just wanted to say hello and thank you all for flying WestJet."

I was sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting for him to say, "As a token of appreciation for all you choosing us, I would like to announce that all of you are flying for free on this flight. It will be my small personal gift to you!" No such luck (sigh).

He was actually a very down to earth kind of guy...he flew economy with the rest of us (well, actually I am not sure if there was a business class on that flight), and he was really friendly with the flight crew. Since I was sitting next to him, I got to listen as he chatted with each flight attendent about his or her job. Apparently WestJet is the only airline in the world that is growing, and they had just ordered 40 more new planes!

Anyways, just thought I'd pass along a couple of cool encounters :)

He ain't heavy...He's my brother

I was doing some late night channel surfing in my hotel room in Vancouver when I came across a concert featuring popular old tunes. One of the songs performed was the moving ballad: "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother". When introducing the song, the singer explained the origin of the title. Over the years there had been different theories as to where the title came from. The most popular one being a magazine picture published in the 1940's showing a young boy carrying his frail, polio stricken brother on his back. The caption of the photo reads: "He ain's heavy; he's my brother."

As I listened to the song, a quiet wave of saddness washed over me. I wondered why, during the darkest moment of my life, men who were supposed to be my brother abandoned me and casted me out rather than carrying me. Time has passed. But the wound remains open.

Call it another baby step forward, but tonight, as the tide of saddness gently receded, I I found myself not wishing for answers anymore. (Afterall, those who can provide the answers have long since gone on their merry way) Instead, I wished for opportunities for my life and experience to be useful to those who have been hurt, and perhaps like me, have been left by the roadside. As I stumble along, I hope there will be opportunites where I can pick up another person, put him on my back and set out on the road ahead together.

Jesus once said to those who are weary and "heavy ladened" to go to him to discover that "his burden is light". I have only lately begun to see the wisdom behind those words: We don't get to live "burden free" lives. We do, at times, get to choose what burden to carry. I have experienced the crushing heaviness of trying to carry the burden of the past. Perhaps as I slowly learn to look upward, forward and outward to see others whom my life can touch, as I learn to help carry the burden of others on my back, I will discover the truth behind the title of the song: "He ain't heavy, (for) He's my brother".

Another nice day!

Yesterday we went with a few good friends on a hiking trip to Belfountain to watch the Fall colours and take some pictures.  We had a great time!  I think we are most proud of Taylor:  When we got to the trail, the sign reads: "This trail is rated as challenging, please make sure you are wearing proper footwear with ankle support".  I thought, "U-oh, Taylor is not going to make it..."  But to our surprise, she trekked through the WHOLE trail without ever complaining once or wanting to be carried (well, except in this picture :-P )  Stay tuned as I will be posting a couple more pics from the day :-)

The Danger of Good Intentions...

Wow...who would have thought an "innocent" post like the last one would generate so many comments and strong words. I feel as though I should start a new post to say a few things "in response to the responses"...

First of all, in case I have not been clear enough, I appreciate everyone who posted a comment. Obviously I don't agree with every one of them, but I am going to take a chance here and assume that every one who posted did so out of good intentions towards me, and for that I am thankful.

Which leaves us with what I think is an important question: Why is it that "well intended" words and action can wound so deeply? Why does it happen so frequently in the context of the church community? The church ought to be a place of healing, but yet you and I both know that for many, many, many people, their deepest wounds have been inflicted by those in the church. More times than not by people who claimed to have acted and spoken out of "good intentions". I know that is certainly the case with my experience.

I believe a large part of the reason lies in the fact that in the church, we have a nasty habit of making two dangerous and arrogant assumptions:

We assume we know God, and...

We assume we know people.

Take the question of "repentence" for instance. We wave the "R" word like it is some kind of magic wand. "Have you repented?" "You need to repent!" "Your problem is that you have not repented!" "God is waiting for you to repent!" "Just repent and everything else will be ok." "You obviously have not repented or else you will not be feeling/acting this way."

Question: How do we know the person has not repented?

Question: Do we know what was/is happening in the person's life? Perhaps the person needs more than someone waving the "R" word in front of his face?

Question: If we don't know what has happened and what the person has experienced, how on earth can we question the person's feelings of anger?

Question: How do we know what God is doing in the person's life? May be, just may be God isn't sitting and tapping His feet, "waiting" for the person to "repent"?

Question: Perhaps whether a person has "repented" or not is truly between that person and God, and none of our business. God knows. The person knows. We do not know. Perhaps our business is to be a friend who will walk with the person?

When we as a church simply want to ask the big "R" question to people who have made mistakes, we lose sight of the communal nature of sin. We simply want to know if the person who had sinned has repented. Perhaps there are things that the community itself needs to repent of at the same time.

I am a hockey player. I know that when a goalie makes a mistake and let in a goal, the mistake is rarely his alone. Sometimes it started by a winger giving the puck away in the opposite end, a centerman failing to back check, a defensemen failing to pick up the shooter, and then finally the puck is in the net. That's why when a team gives up a goal, the hockey statistics score a "-1" to every player who is on the ice at the time.

Perhaps that is the true spirit behind Jesus' words in John 8: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone..."

Daddy's Great Helper!

Today I had to host our booth at a community event called "Taste of the Hill". It was a food fair type event where restaurants representing different ethnic groups have booths to showcase their food. We usually put a booth at these events so the community sees our name and learn about our services.

The original plan was for me to work the booth, and for mommy and daughter to enjoy the event and taste test all the foods. But after a while, my little girl said she'd rather help Daddy! So, I put one of our polo shirts on her (which became a full length skirt on her), gave her a stack of our brochures and she proceeded to stop every passerby and handed them one! I think by the end of the day, she gave out more brochures than anyone of us!! She became the magnet drawing people to our booth and gave me opportunites to chat with people about what we do. I think we might have stumbled upon a new marketing scheme here.... :-)

What a COOL workshop!

Today I went to a very cool workshop on social enterprises, which are revenue generating activities undertaken by non-profit organizations to fund their mission. The workshop took place in the Centre for Social Innovation, which is a large modernized loft-type office space that is dedicated to the mission: "To spark and support new ideas that are tackling the social, environmental, economic and cultural challenges we face today." You can find out more about this innovative project by visiting their website: http://www.socialinnovation.ca/

During the workshop I had the opportunity to look around at the different agencies that are housed in the centre. It is an amazing mosaic of different causes: anti-racism, promotion of the arts, housing for the poor, employment opportunities for the marginalized, just to name a few. The whole idea of the centre is to be a place where the line between the profit seeking world and the non-profit world begins to blur. More and more, that is the paradigm shift that is happening in the non-profit sector.

These are such exciting and challenging times to be involved in the non-profit world. I am frightened out of my mind because I know so little and am so unqualified. But I am learning tons everyday. As I sat in the centre today, in the midst of folks who use their entrepreneurial talents not to maximize profits for its own sake, but to further each of their own sense of mission to build healthier communities and to make the world a better place, I felt as though I have been given a sneak preview of what the Kingdom looks like. More and more, I feel as though the 17 years I spent in Christian ministry was preparation for my "new life". Even though I no longer belong to my "old world", I am seeing the Kingdom at work in places like the centre today. I hope that as I continue down this journey, my mind will continue to be stretched, my sights will continue to be lifted, and I will continue to learn what it means to truly be a part of something greater than myself

A visit to an orphanage

Our agency was told that we need to move out of our current location by the end of the year, so lately part of my responsibilities included scouting out possible new office space. Today I was visiting a possible location in a most unusual building: the historic Loyal True Blue and Orange Home in Richmond Hill.

The Loyal True Blue and Orange Home was a large orphanage that opened in the 1920's. Today the building has been turned into a school as well as office suites for non-profit community service agencies. As I was being given a tour of the building, the person took me to a floor where the original layout has not been disturbed. He pointed out to me the original closet spaces where the children's coats were kept, and I even saw an old wheelchair that looked like it was from the "original days". It was like travelling back in time.

Perhaps because of my experience in adopting a child, as we stood in that old space I found myself quietly becoming a little emotional. I looked at the old, exposed brick walls and wood floors, and "saw" children who spent cold winter nights there instead of being in the warmth of their parents' homes. I looked out the window onto the large fields outside and wondered how many children stood in front of that very same window, gazing out on to that same field on countless Christmas mornings, feeling the loneliess of not having family.

On my way out I noticed the differet human service agencies that the building houses today. There are agencies that serve people with different illnesses and disabilities: Autism, Epilepsy, Learning Disabilities, just to name a few. Quietly, a gentle wish welled up inside: I wish my life can be useful in creating a world where children will no longer be abandoned, where people will not be stigmatized because of their illnesses, where we will finally learn, and take seriously, the dignity that is part of what it means to be human.

A Thumbs Up Day!

Today was one of those Saturdays where we had nothing planned. After having breakfast at our usual neighborhood diner, we were wondering what we could do for the day. It was raining outside, so anything outdoors was out of the question. Suddenly I had this idea: Taylor has never been on the subway! Why don't we leave the car and take her downtown via "The Better Way"?

Taylor loved the subway! She said hi and chatted with EVERYONE, from the ticket agent to just about everyone in the car. (Whether they felt like chatting or not :-P) After walking around Eaton Centre for a bit, Taylor was exhausted...we had a hard time getting her to leave this store display :-)



On the way home, our little girl had a great idea (which, not surprising for her, involved food :-) . She said, "Mommy, why don't you teach me how to make chocolate chip cookies?" So we stopped off at a grocery stores to pick up some ingredients. After dinner, mother and daughter went to work. What better way for a little girl to finish up a great day with a cookie she made herself and some milk?

Lantern Festival!

On Friday night we went to check out the Lantern Festival with a couple of friends. What a wonderful time we had! The lanterns were quite a sight to see. Just thought I'd share a few pics with you here. Go check them out on my online album:

http://picasaweb.google.ca/alfred.lam/LanternFestival#

The pain of abandonment...

It's 2:30 in the morning. I went to check on my little girl one last time before heading to bed myself. As I sat down by her bed and watched her sleep, I started thinking about the early days of her life. I started to imagine what it was like being her...

It must have been so hard for her being abandoned the moment she was born. I never thought about it this way, but abandonment was her first experience of human relationship in her life. While other new born babies enjoy the warmth of their mother's embrace, she was left, abandoned, on a cold November day on a pile of dirt by the road.

As I thought about that, somehow I felt a deep sense of connection with her. For I too know what it's like to be abandoned, to be left behind, left for dead by those whom I thought I could count on. As I thought about that, that familiar wave of pain welled up in my heart. I found myself making a promise to her:

"For as long as I live, I will never abandon you. Never. I will not let what happened to me happen to you. You and I both know what it feels like to be abandoned. Never again will I let you go through that."

Sleep tight, little one.

Friends

Crazy day today.

Got to the office, running miserably late. Scheduled to interview someone for an opening on my staff in 15, no, 10, actually, in 6 minutes. Hadn't even looked at her resume. Wait...was it a she or a he??

Shoved my lunch bag into the fridge in the staff kitchen, completely squishing someone's pie in the process, transforming it from pie to pancake in 0.4 seconds (oh boy...memos will fly tomorrow: "Food Vandalism in the Staff Kitchen!").

Ran...actually CRASHED into the office. My assistant looked up and said, "Oh, you just missed a phone call. Your best friend from Hong Kong called. Said he'll call back in 20 minutes"

What the...? Who?

Never mind...turned on my computer, waiting for the darn thing to boot up...frantically clicking the mouse trying to "speed it up" (Have you ever done that? Why do we do that?)

Phone rang again...for me.

I recognized the voice instantly. Oh my gosh....

It was, as the message said earlier, my best friend from Hong Kong. A friend I grew up with.

We haven't spoken in years. He heard that "something" had happened to me. He took it upon himself to look up where I work (I have no clue how he did it), found my number and called.

Just like that, time stood still. Like hitting the pause button, all the craziness of the morning felt like it's been put on hold.

Sometimes, that's what happens when a friend "walks in".

Given the fact that we haven't talked to each other in years, it was a remarkably brief conversation. He simply said: "Listen, it doesn't matter what happened. I don't need to know. I just called to make sure you are okay. Don't let anyone judge you. Don't pay attention to what people say. They don't matter. Don't give up. You will survive. You'll make it." After promising to keep in touch, he hung up and let me get back to work.

Among the few truly life changing lessons I have learned during this "episode" of my life, one of them is that I learned who are my friends, and who aren't. Having been betrayed and hurt by those whom I thought were friends to me, I now look upon that as a blessing. Because it allowed me to be taught and shown what real friends are supposed to be, and I have been humbled.

A friend looks you up, tracks you down, searches you out and won't stop until he does.

A friend does not care to know everything. He cares about you.

A friend does not judge you, and stands up for you against those who do.

A friend won't quit on you, and won't let you quit on yourself.

A friend does all that, simply because he is your friend.

To my friend, whom I know is reading this: Thank you. There isn't much more I can do or say, but between friends, I hope that's enough.

In the meantime, my interviewee showed up...I had to get through the hour long meeting "pretending" I was there.

I did alright though. After all, I played that game for most of my adult life.

But no more. I'm out. I'm done.