It's 2:30 in the morning. I went to check on my little girl one last time before heading to bed myself. As I sat down by her bed and watched her sleep, I started thinking about the early days of her life. I started to imagine what it was like being her...
It must have been so hard for her being abandoned the moment she was born. I never thought about it this way, but abandonment was her first experience of human relationship in her life. While other new born babies enjoy the warmth of their mother's embrace, she was left, abandoned, on a cold November day on a pile of dirt by the road.
As I thought about that, somehow I felt a deep sense of connection with her. For I too know what it's like to be abandoned, to be left behind, left for dead by those whom I thought I could count on. As I thought about that, that familiar wave of pain welled up in my heart. I found myself making a promise to her:
"For as long as I live, I will never abandon you. Never. I will not let what happened to me happen to you. You and I both know what it feels like to be abandoned. Never again will I let you go through that."
Sleep tight, little one.
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2 comments:
Hey dear Alfred,
(you deleted a blog and the comment from the anonymous of Sep 14 which I just happen to read...)
Time will not cure all the wounds and for you, if you use a tiny rusty needle and pierce the wound one day at a time... I guess I am able to see there are 300+ tiny holes in your wound and it will for sure grow deeper and bigger... The would will hardly ever cure and I guess you will be counting the 500, 1000....
If someone asks you: Family, Career(or Job) and Fame; which one is the most important... I could see "fame" had been on the top of your list... A Chinese saying: 清者自清，濁者自濁，謠言止於智者... If you are pretty sure you have not done anything wrong, I think those betrayers as well as those fools were sent by our heavenly father to test and to examine your Faith, Hope and Love... Or perhaps an obvious one, an expensive and great lesson learned in life!
I reckon that from the Bible, if a sinner who has truly repented, he/she could be forgiven (at least by the God) and he/she will live in a new and happy life in the absence of regrets, sorrows and griefs... Did anyone ever truly believe and apply this ancient principle successfully ? I think it is again a matter of belief and there is never an annouced success rating....
So brother, why do we need to bother and worry too much for the PAST as we still have many many present and future things to work on, to face with, to cherish and to treasure upon until the last breath of our life? I believe God does not pave us just a single road to walk and if one of the roads is completely collapsed, I think He is more than happy and loves to see us walking steadily on the other roads with the same or even more Faith, Hope and Love...
Although I don't see you often, I knew you a quarter of a century ago and am always roughly 18 weeks older than you... I don't know if I am just that 18 weeks wiser but I think we all know the meanings and the ways to become a well-being. (I guess this is also be the wish of our heavenly Father) I am sure I can see two important and beautiful ladies waiting for you perhaps you have started showing them your joyful face but I don't think you can hide the longer one which is deep inside your heart...The best medicine in the world is " Let's forgive and forget" and we all know it is easier said than done, it might be a challenge.... No matter what, if you cherish and treasure al the significant persons in your life, you know Mr. Insomnia is not your good friend or perhaps he is your enemy and I truly hope you will soon have a sweet dream every night.
Cheers and G.B. :-)
(It is good to see that you deleted that blog.... )
Dear Old Friend:
I address you as my "Old Friend" for several reasons: First, if you are 18 weeks older than I, you're OLD :) Second, if we have known each other for 1/4 century, we are indeed "old friends" simply from having known each other for so long. Finally, from what you have written, it's obvious that you are indeed a "friend" to me. So, on many different levels, "old friend" fits :)
I deleted that last blog entry because I had just spent 4 hours in a hospital with a good friend who was hit with a sudden case of short term memory loss. He simply could not remember ANYTHING short term. I visited him again today and thankfully it looks like he will be fine. But I came home after spending a night with him in emergency, and I realize that to be able to remember is such a gift that we take for granted in life. And there and then I decided that I don't want to waste more time to remember things that are negative and bitter. Rather, I want to use my time remembering how blessed I am, and use my time to create more beautiful memories.
Thanks, Old Friend, for your words of reminder and encouragement. Keep reading. Stay in touch!
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