Wednesday, January 02, 2008

給跌倒過, 受傷過的傳道者

您好!

最近好嗎﹖您可能不認識我是誰﹐其實我也可能不認識您。但我決定開始再寫blog的一晚﹐心中就想起您。很想﹐很想跟您分享心裡的一些話。

雖然我們可能素未謀面﹐但某程度上我可能也頗認識您...

我不知道您事奉年日的長短﹐但我知道無論是一年﹐五年﹐十年﹐或二十年﹐您曾經為了教會把自己100%﹐毫無保留﹐從無怨言﹐徹徹底底地付出。 一日復一日﹐一年又一年...

我不知道您發生事情的來龍去脈﹐但我知道您心中﹐您背後的故事﹐可能沒有太多人能真正明白。

我不知道您身邊的人對整件事的反應﹐但我知道您自己所流過的眼淚﹐一定不比其它人少。

朋友﹐是嗎﹖

作晚自己一個拿起結他﹐隨意地自彈自唱。無意中彈出了粱漢文的“七友”。唱到某一句﹐忽然唱不下去了﹕“誰人曾介意我也不好受﹐為我出頭﹐碰過我的手...”

“出事”後﹐聽過一些令自己十分難受的說話。 每晚夜瀾人靜時﹐經常在腦海中重複地聽到這些話。每“重播”一次﹐心中就痛一次。您也是這樣嗎﹖

後來﹐慢慢的想通了﹕自己受傷﹐並不等於人家蓄意中傷自己。 大家處理這種事情都缺乏經驗﹐而感到束手無策。無意中失言﹐也是在所難免。 再加上有時“言者雖無心﹔聽者則有意”。 誤會就由此產生了。您和我可能都有這共通之處﹕在您我身邊﹐“有職在身”要處理事情的人其實都是關心我們的。只不過除了“在私”對我們有關心﹐他們覺得“在公”﹐他們對教會﹐機構﹐組織...要有“交代”。我們可能不認同他們處事的“手法”﹐但我相信他們絕對是無心傷害我們的。 朋友﹐算了吧。不要再把這些事放在心裡。釋放他們﹐也釋放自己吧。

其實﹐昨天人家對我們說了甚麼話﹐已不再重要。今天﹐人家怎樣講我們﹐也不重要。唯一重要的﹐是明天﹐您和我怎樣走面前的路...

朋友﹐黑夜終於都會過去。黎明﹐很快就到。不要放棄...hang on....

給自己一些時間和空間去休息﹐療傷。如果暫時不想返教會﹐不要強迫自己。您已經很久沒有好好的為自己著想了。您以前總是把教會﹐把他人放在第一位。今日﹐是時候好好的照顧自己了。當給自己放假吧。但休息過後﹐記得要再上路啊!

答應我。不要做任何傷害自己的事。 千萬不要。我自己有想過。我知道您一定也有。 相信我﹐您和我的戲﹐最精彩的劇情還未上演。那裡會有人這麼笨﹐付錢看戲﹐未到高潮就離座回家﹖您這麼聰明﹐您一定會明白這道理...

最近時常想起“真阿Lam"的一首舊歌。下面把歌詞寫下與您分享互勉。 記住﹐我們都是同路人。少了您﹐這條路就會變得更孤單。咬緊牙關﹐提起精神﹐前面還有很多事情等著我們去做呢!

保重!

您的朋友﹐
阿Lam


莫再悲

莫再悲﹐莫再傷。遇到悲哀休誇張。誰亦要經風與浪﹐誰遇挫敗不受傷﹖
逝去的﹐莫再想。路正崎嶇更漫長。何用嘆息風裡望﹖寶貴光陰笑著量。
愁和哀﹐風與霜﹐不會天天都探訪。用幻想與夢想﹐編織那遠大理想。
斜陽好﹐花正香﹐跟那寂寞和著唱。歌聲一句句跳越屏障赴远方!
默默的分享﹐默默的欣賞﹐路上一切美丽况!
人生总会碰着悲哀苦恼为何流泪看?
幸运不希罕 热泪不轻淌 愿做真正既硬汉
何必口說快樂心中一個樣﹖

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Alfred,

No matter what, I believe you, I believe the spirit behind you. I believe we won't let Him down. He is here, in His time, in His place and in His teaching.

Anonymous said...

Hi Pastor...
You will always be my pastor... my example...
So, don't give up, because I know God will never give up on you.
Will keep praying for you and your family...
xteam

Anonymous said...

Alfred,

Who can heal us?

I know HE did on me, and HE is and HE will, for HE LOVES US, wounded pastors, so much!

See you today!

Bill said...

Dear Alfred,
A war is not over until it is over. Let's fight this battle together.
I hurt when you hurt even not to the same degree. There is no way I can comprehend what you have went through but I can tell you that I don't feel good at all when I know you are hurting.
I rejoice today when I read what you wrote because I saw a light shining through the darkness, it is not dawn yet but at least I saw a glimpse of light.
The past is unchangable, don't let the unchangable past stop us in creating the changable future.
Let's keep moving on.

Your brother and member of the same body.

Bill said...

Dear Alfred,

I send you e-mails but you didn't reply, that is OK.

I read the lyrics of the song that you quoted and it touches my heart, it is so real. Thanks.

Your brother and member of the same body

阿Lam - A Messenger said...

Hi Bill

Thanks for your words of encouragement...sorry about delay in replying your email...reply sent.

Anonymous said...

Dear Alfred,
I have hope in you and I knew we will meet again, not just in the coffee shop, not just in heaven but also in the battle field.
Thanks for your e-mail reply, I treasure it so much.
I read your posting once again, did you see what you have written? I can see hope, not just hope but a lot of hope.
Yes, we need to be responsible for what happened but it is not infinite. The only thing that is infinite and eternal is love, isn't that what we read from 1 Corinthians?
I have learned to be more passionate and understanding after my own fall.
I have learned to be more dependent and humble after my own failure.
It is bad that we fell, it is worse that we refuse to stand up once again.
Yesterday, I went throught the bookstore's testimony session and I found that most of people or authors are sharing what they or others have done well, how much we need someone to share how they fell and how they recover. This is something that is extremely lacking in our community (church).
I respect those who admit their mistakes, I respect even more those who recovered from their mistakes and move on. I know you are doing that and I am so thankful.

Your brother and member of the same body.