The Danger of Good Intentions...

Wow...who would have thought an "innocent" post like the last one would generate so many comments and strong words. I feel as though I should start a new post to say a few things "in response to the responses"...

First of all, in case I have not been clear enough, I appreciate everyone who posted a comment. Obviously I don't agree with every one of them, but I am going to take a chance here and assume that every one who posted did so out of good intentions towards me, and for that I am thankful.

Which leaves us with what I think is an important question: Why is it that "well intended" words and action can wound so deeply? Why does it happen so frequently in the context of the church community? The church ought to be a place of healing, but yet you and I both know that for many, many, many people, their deepest wounds have been inflicted by those in the church. More times than not by people who claimed to have acted and spoken out of "good intentions". I know that is certainly the case with my experience.

I believe a large part of the reason lies in the fact that in the church, we have a nasty habit of making two dangerous and arrogant assumptions:

We assume we know God, and...

We assume we know people.

Take the question of "repentence" for instance. We wave the "R" word like it is some kind of magic wand. "Have you repented?" "You need to repent!" "Your problem is that you have not repented!" "God is waiting for you to repent!" "Just repent and everything else will be ok." "You obviously have not repented or else you will not be feeling/acting this way."

Question: How do we know the person has not repented?

Question: Do we know what was/is happening in the person's life? Perhaps the person needs more than someone waving the "R" word in front of his face?

Question: If we don't know what has happened and what the person has experienced, how on earth can we question the person's feelings of anger?

Question: How do we know what God is doing in the person's life? May be, just may be God isn't sitting and tapping His feet, "waiting" for the person to "repent"?

Question: Perhaps whether a person has "repented" or not is truly between that person and God, and none of our business. God knows. The person knows. We do not know. Perhaps our business is to be a friend who will walk with the person?

When we as a church simply want to ask the big "R" question to people who have made mistakes, we lose sight of the communal nature of sin. We simply want to know if the person who had sinned has repented. Perhaps there are things that the community itself needs to repent of at the same time.

I am a hockey player. I know that when a goalie makes a mistake and let in a goal, the mistake is rarely his alone. Sometimes it started by a winger giving the puck away in the opposite end, a centerman failing to back check, a defensemen failing to pick up the shooter, and then finally the puck is in the net. That's why when a team gives up a goal, the hockey statistics score a "-1" to every player who is on the ice at the time.

Perhaps that is the true spirit behind Jesus' words in John 8: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone..."