A couple of days ago our agency celebrated Christmas by having lunch together at the local Mandarin restaurant (Yeah, I know. I am not crazy about Mandarin either, but that's another story for another time :) I had to oversee the phone installation at our new office (translation: someone had to be there to open the door for the phone guy) so I was a little late getting there. When I walked in, I saw our staff, both paid and volunteer gathered around 2 tables and having a great time. For some reason, I wanted to stand there for just a bit longer, looking at them.
There couldn't be a more diverse group. There were a few retirees who still actively volunteer their time with us. There was a lady who came to the country as a refugee with nothing but the clothes on her back whom we have recently hired to serve the needs of new immigrants. There were a couple of university students who worked with us during the Summer months. There was our staff manager who overcame incredible personal and physical hardships in her life. Every person around those 2 tables had an interest and distinct story. Yet there they were, all drawn together in one place.
They came to our agency, not with grand and lofty visions to end poverty or hunger, or anything like that. They came, because they simply want to help people. At the end of each phone call we receive, whether it is a desperate person contemplating suicide, or a new immigrant parent looking for a doctor for his son, or simply a high school student looking for a place to volunteer, the hope is that when we put down the phone to end the call, we have managed to make someone's life just a little easier.
At the lunch I made it a point to go around to thank each person for the work that they have done. They in turn gave me a Christmas card that says, "To our wonderful Boss...Merry Christmas!" When I read the card, I felt so proud to be called their "boss"...for some reason I felt a strange sense of "affection" when they called me that :)
As lunch wound down and everyone were enjoying their desserts, I silently offered up a little Christmas wish: I hope in the new year, I can work twice as hard for these wonderful folks, and that I can manage to find enough funding to keep our agency going.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
First time "back"...
Last Saturday I went to a Christian organization to speak. It was the first time in more than a year that I have spoken in a "Christian" context. I really didn't give it much thought when I accepted the invitation. A friend of mine works for the organization and they needed a speaker, so I just said yes, mostly thinking of helping out a friend.
It wasn't till I was driving to the engagement that it hit me. I was surprised how "nervous" I felt on the way. It wasn't the speaking that made me nervous. It was more a sense of uncertainty of whether I still "belong" in that "world". Even as I pulled into the parking lot, in the back of my mind I was still looking for excuses to back out of the engagement ("hm...is that a headache that I feel coming on? May be I should cancel and not spread it to others...")
The workshop itself was okay. The staff went out of their way to make me feel welcomed and at home. When I asked the audience a question and there was silence, the staff took it upon themselves to respond to help me not feel awkward. A year ago I wouldn't have thought about any of this. But today, I have learned to recognize and appreciate acts of kindness, no matter how small.
3 hours later, the workshop was finished. I was exhausted; more emotionally than physically. As I made a quick exit and drove away, I learned a couple of things: First, I realized that my wounds from the betrayal and trampling I received from those whom I thought were my Christian community are still very open and fresh, and I still need to deal with it and seek healing. Second, I learned how every act of kindness makes a difference, and I need to be thankful for them. I am thankful for the staff of the organization. For every smile, every handshake, every pat on the shoulder. I am thankful for the people who left messages on my facebook to encourage me. The fact that they realized this is a 'big deal' for me and took time to leave me notes tells me that they are thinking of me. I am thankful to Anna who looked after Taylor in a mall for 3 hours while I spoke. As I said, a year ago, I would have taken everything for granted. Now, I have learned to treasure kindness.
When I got home I opened the thank you card they gave me. The old me wouldn't even bother reading them after speaking engagements. But this time it was different. I looked at the card, read every word, and instead of it going into my recycle bin, it now stands on my desk at home.
Call it a "milestone" on a long journey.
Tim, Joseph, Alex, Teresa, Nicole, Addie, Ceci, Harry, Anna...Thank you :-)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Lessons Learned at the kettle
"...But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny" --Mark 12:42
A couple of days ago I volunteered at a Salvation Army Kettle - the kind you see at shopping malls and other public places at this time of year. Basically the Salvation Army puts out these kettles for people to put in donations to support their work. Because our agency agreed to help out, I was glad to sign up for a shift.
The work was simply enough. I simply had to go to the mall, stand beside the kettle for 90 minutes, and thank people for their donations. While a few people actually stopped by, for the most part I was simply standing there.
As I stood there watching the people walking right by me, busy with their Christmas shopping, a mild feeling of loneliness came over me. It was not so much me feeling lonely for myself, but I was getting a taste of how the busy, "happy" holiday seasons can be a lonely experience for many people. Christmas is billed as a season of peace, of joy, of family and friends. There are many who don't have a whole lot of any of those things in their lives. As I stood there in the mall, I quietly wondered whether Christmas feels like this for them: being alone while surrounded by people busy celebrating.
I was watching this one family carrying...no, hauling a huge load of Christmas gifts when I was startled by a voice behind me.
"Hi!"
"Hello!"
I turned around to see an elderly gentleman. We chatted for a bit. From our conversation, it was apparent that he struggles with some mental disability, and from the way he dressed, I guessed that financially he wasn't exactly well off. He told me that every year he makes it a point to look for the Salvation Army kettle to make a donation, because in the past he had benefited from Salvation army's services to the needy.
Then he pulled out a handful of loose change from his pocket and dropped them into the kettle. He did so slowly, one coin at a time, like it was the most important thing he had to do that day. After he was done, I thanked him, he said good-bye and started to walk away. After taking a few steps, he stopped, turned and said to me, "You take care of yourself."
I didn't get a chance to tell him, but in many ways, he gave more that day than he could ever know.
A couple of days ago I volunteered at a Salvation Army Kettle - the kind you see at shopping malls and other public places at this time of year. Basically the Salvation Army puts out these kettles for people to put in donations to support their work. Because our agency agreed to help out, I was glad to sign up for a shift.
The work was simply enough. I simply had to go to the mall, stand beside the kettle for 90 minutes, and thank people for their donations. While a few people actually stopped by, for the most part I was simply standing there.
As I stood there watching the people walking right by me, busy with their Christmas shopping, a mild feeling of loneliness came over me. It was not so much me feeling lonely for myself, but I was getting a taste of how the busy, "happy" holiday seasons can be a lonely experience for many people. Christmas is billed as a season of peace, of joy, of family and friends. There are many who don't have a whole lot of any of those things in their lives. As I stood there in the mall, I quietly wondered whether Christmas feels like this for them: being alone while surrounded by people busy celebrating.
I was watching this one family carrying...no, hauling a huge load of Christmas gifts when I was startled by a voice behind me.
"Hi!"
"Hello!"
I turned around to see an elderly gentleman. We chatted for a bit. From our conversation, it was apparent that he struggles with some mental disability, and from the way he dressed, I guessed that financially he wasn't exactly well off. He told me that every year he makes it a point to look for the Salvation Army kettle to make a donation, because in the past he had benefited from Salvation army's services to the needy.
Then he pulled out a handful of loose change from his pocket and dropped them into the kettle. He did so slowly, one coin at a time, like it was the most important thing he had to do that day. After he was done, I thanked him, he said good-bye and started to walk away. After taking a few steps, he stopped, turned and said to me, "You take care of yourself."
I didn't get a chance to tell him, but in many ways, he gave more that day than he could ever know.
Monday, December 08, 2008
A new paradigm (Part 1)...
I was looking through some of the comments from my post entitled "A Quiet longing after a busy weekend" and one particular comment caught my eye. "Sis" wrote:
...I feel compelled to join a group of people of faith that are standing up for injustice in the world, rather than trying to evangelize to the world; to look at our faith as one that is inclusive and welcoming regardless of who they are and what they've done; rather judging people through a narrow set of "right or wrong" lens...
When I read that comment again, the word "inclusive" jumped out at me. For me, that one word sums up the tension between the "traditional evangelical" ways of understanding the Christian faith and the so called "Emergent" views. (As an aside, I normally dislike "labels" especially in this type of dialogue, as I have always felt that labels carry with them assumptions and baggages that are not universally true nor generally helpful. I used those two terms here simply as a quick reference to try and give a rough sense of the two "camps" we are dealing with. )
It seems to me, much of the tension and debate between these two ways of looking at the Christian faith surrounds this question: "What do we mean when we say that the Christian faith is 'inclusive'"? Traditional Evangelicalism would answer by saying: "We are inclusive in that we strive to invite everyone, regardless of background to become Christians and to be baptized into the Church, and thus becoming a part of the family of God."
On the other hand, the "emergent" views may answer the same question by saying: "We believe the Christian faith is inclusive in that God is at work to bring redemption and blessing to a world that is broken, and everyone, regardless of their religious convictions can become a part of what God is doing."
(Again, I do not profess to speak for either "camps". These words are strictly my own)
So far, the way the church has dealt with this difference is to argue that there isn't one. The argument usually goes something like this: "It doesn't have to be an either-or situation. The church should be involved in BOTH evangelization and social action. Some brothers and sisters are more gifted for evangelism and some are more passionate about social justice. But we should be able to work hand in hand to help the church fulfill both mandates."
On the surface it looks like a workable solution. However, I am not sure if this attempt to "bridge the gap" sufficiently deals with the foundational questions that are being raised. Questions such as:
(1) What is the nature of the "Good News"? Is it simply to answer the question: "How does a person go to heaven after he/she dies?"
(2) Is the Gospel good news only for "Christians"? Or is it good news for the whole world? In other words, does one have to "become a Christian" to partake of this good news?
(3) Is becoming a part of God's "kingdom" the same thing as becoming a part of the "Christian religion"?
(4) Is it possible that God includes and engages people of other faiths, or even people with no religious alliances to partake in and contribute to the work of His Kingdom in redeeming and restoring all of creation?
These are a few of the questions that I had wrestled with for a number of years. Whenever I had an opportunity to talk about these issues, without exception I end up meeting others who say to me: "I've been struggling with the very same thing!" My sense is that until the church is willing to engage in dialogue and discussion surrounding these and other similar questions, it will fail to engage the passion of a new, "emerging" generation of believers.
More to follow....
...I feel compelled to join a group of people of faith that are standing up for injustice in the world, rather than trying to evangelize to the world; to look at our faith as one that is inclusive and welcoming regardless of who they are and what they've done; rather judging people through a narrow set of "right or wrong" lens...
When I read that comment again, the word "inclusive" jumped out at me. For me, that one word sums up the tension between the "traditional evangelical" ways of understanding the Christian faith and the so called "Emergent" views. (As an aside, I normally dislike "labels" especially in this type of dialogue, as I have always felt that labels carry with them assumptions and baggages that are not universally true nor generally helpful. I used those two terms here simply as a quick reference to try and give a rough sense of the two "camps" we are dealing with. )
It seems to me, much of the tension and debate between these two ways of looking at the Christian faith surrounds this question: "What do we mean when we say that the Christian faith is 'inclusive'"? Traditional Evangelicalism would answer by saying: "We are inclusive in that we strive to invite everyone, regardless of background to become Christians and to be baptized into the Church, and thus becoming a part of the family of God."
On the other hand, the "emergent" views may answer the same question by saying: "We believe the Christian faith is inclusive in that God is at work to bring redemption and blessing to a world that is broken, and everyone, regardless of their religious convictions can become a part of what God is doing."
(Again, I do not profess to speak for either "camps". These words are strictly my own)
So far, the way the church has dealt with this difference is to argue that there isn't one. The argument usually goes something like this: "It doesn't have to be an either-or situation. The church should be involved in BOTH evangelization and social action. Some brothers and sisters are more gifted for evangelism and some are more passionate about social justice. But we should be able to work hand in hand to help the church fulfill both mandates."
On the surface it looks like a workable solution. However, I am not sure if this attempt to "bridge the gap" sufficiently deals with the foundational questions that are being raised. Questions such as:
(1) What is the nature of the "Good News"? Is it simply to answer the question: "How does a person go to heaven after he/she dies?"
(2) Is the Gospel good news only for "Christians"? Or is it good news for the whole world? In other words, does one have to "become a Christian" to partake of this good news?
(3) Is becoming a part of God's "kingdom" the same thing as becoming a part of the "Christian religion"?
(4) Is it possible that God includes and engages people of other faiths, or even people with no religious alliances to partake in and contribute to the work of His Kingdom in redeeming and restoring all of creation?
These are a few of the questions that I had wrestled with for a number of years. Whenever I had an opportunity to talk about these issues, without exception I end up meeting others who say to me: "I've been struggling with the very same thing!" My sense is that until the church is willing to engage in dialogue and discussion surrounding these and other similar questions, it will fail to engage the passion of a new, "emerging" generation of believers.
More to follow....
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
The dance
"We played the flute, but you did not dance..." Matthew 11:17
This morning one of my staff member handed me an interesting document. It was the script from the speech that she gave at her daughter's wedding. Knowing that I have a public speaking background, she wanted to share it with me and hear what I think of it.
It was a moving speech. At the time, her husband had passed away already and so in a way she was speaking for both of them. The speech made reference to a picture of her husband dancing with their daughter. I asked her about the picture and her eyes began to moist. She told me that at the wedding, they prominently displayed a picture of her late husband dancing with their daughter at her grade 8 graduation party. At the time, she made sure that she took a good picture of them dancing, because she knew her husband would likely not live long enough to dance with their daughter at her wedding (he was quite a bit older).
As a father of a beautiful little girl, I have often thought about that day. I have wondered if I will live long enough to dance with her. My staff's speech reminded me that's not important. What IS important is whether I hear the music today and dance with her while I still can. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. Who knows if I will get to dance with my little girl at her wedding someday. But I can live today, and each day, giving myself to her in such a way that even if I am not there to dance when that day comes, she can say, "It's okay. I danced with my daddy already."
"Hope is the ability to hear the music of tomorrow;
but faith is having the courage to dance to it today."
This morning one of my staff member handed me an interesting document. It was the script from the speech that she gave at her daughter's wedding. Knowing that I have a public speaking background, she wanted to share it with me and hear what I think of it.
It was a moving speech. At the time, her husband had passed away already and so in a way she was speaking for both of them. The speech made reference to a picture of her husband dancing with their daughter. I asked her about the picture and her eyes began to moist. She told me that at the wedding, they prominently displayed a picture of her late husband dancing with their daughter at her grade 8 graduation party. At the time, she made sure that she took a good picture of them dancing, because she knew her husband would likely not live long enough to dance with their daughter at her wedding (he was quite a bit older).
As a father of a beautiful little girl, I have often thought about that day. I have wondered if I will live long enough to dance with her. My staff's speech reminded me that's not important. What IS important is whether I hear the music today and dance with her while I still can. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. Who knows if I will get to dance with my little girl at her wedding someday. But I can live today, and each day, giving myself to her in such a way that even if I am not there to dance when that day comes, she can say, "It's okay. I danced with my daddy already."
"Hope is the ability to hear the music of tomorrow;
but faith is having the courage to dance to it today."
Monday, December 01, 2008
A Quiet Longing after a busy weekend
I felt slightly weary driving to work today after a busy weekend. As I mentioned in my previous post, we were busy cleaning up and purging stuff on Saturday. On Sunday we did a little more cleaning up, had lunch with my parents, did some grocery shopping, and as usual, I went to play hockey at night (and as usual, our team lost, but that's another story for another post :) In the car this morning I was going through in my mind the list of things we did this weekend. At the same time I started another mental list of all the things we still have to do before Christmas comes (yikes!). Let's see...we are putting down new floors at home, our office is moving, I have a whole bunch of meetings to line up before Christmas with potential corporate funding partners for our agency, oh my...I am getting a headache :(
It was just another busy, enjoyable, but uneventful weekend. And it occured to me, that it was another weekend without church. It's been more than a year since I've been in church. But after what was done to us by some in our own church, I still do not feel I can "entrust" myself and my family to another "Christian community". But this morning, as I ponder upon the arrival of yet another Christmas, there was a quiet longing to belong somewhere and to invest our lives to make a difference in the life of another community. Although right now the wounds still feel fresh, I hope one day I can allow myself to belong again.
It was just another busy, enjoyable, but uneventful weekend. And it occured to me, that it was another weekend without church. It's been more than a year since I've been in church. But after what was done to us by some in our own church, I still do not feel I can "entrust" myself and my family to another "Christian community". But this morning, as I ponder upon the arrival of yet another Christmas, there was a quiet longing to belong somewhere and to invest our lives to make a difference in the life of another community. Although right now the wounds still feel fresh, I hope one day I can allow myself to belong again.
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