Small Signs of Encouragement

Today I was scheduled to give a speech at another non-profit community service agency. This agency has a program geared to youths with troubled pasts and aims to give them a fresh start in finding a career, and I was supposed to give a "movivational speech". All morning I was debating whether to go or not because I could barely get two words out without coughing up a lung. Finally I decided: "Okay, I'll go give the talk, and the go stright home to rest."

As soon as I was brought into the room, I could tell it was a tough crowd. At least when I used to speak in churches, people would "pretend" to be interested. Here, folks feel no such obligation. The indifference in the room was so real that you could almost reach out and touch it. But...strangely enough, I found myself "liking" it. It was...honest.

I talked about various things to try and find something that would capture at least a bit of interest. It was a classic case of "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks". (political sidebar: kind of like the McCain campaign these days...political sidebar over) Towards the end, I decided to look them in the eye and said, "The truth is, where you came from, what you had done, what led you here means absolutely zero now. You are in a place where you CAN start fresh. Whether this leads anywhere, is up to you." As I said that, one of the youth gave a good slap to his friends sitting next to him who had slept through my whole talk, to try to wake him up to hear what I was saying.

I don't know why, but that made my day. You'd think after doing this for so many years, stuff like this don't matter anymore. But I guess I found out again that none of us ever out grow our need to be encouraged, even by the smallest gestures. I just hope I have done the same for at least a couple of them this afternoon.

Some pictures from our trip

It's been a few days since we came back from our Vancouver-Hawaii trip. I have finally got around to posting some pictures on line. Go to the links below, and hope you enjoy them :-)

http://picasaweb.google.ca/alfred.lam/Vancouver2008#

http://picasaweb.google.ca/alfred.lam/Hawaii2008#

Sights of Hawaii

We've been in Hawaii for only two days and I have already fallen in love with this place. I mean, I have been to other "Sun n' Sand" vacationing places before, but none of them compare to Honolulu with its combination of GREAT weather, rich local culture, significant history and interesting people. We have met a number of "unique" people as well as lovely scenary. I have been shooting tons of pictures and will get an album together soon after we get back. In the mean time, we will try to enjoy every minute of time we have left here :-)

Celebrity (sort of) Sighting...

Hi everyone! Just thought I'd give you a quick update on our trip so far...(for those who don't know, we are on vacation to Vancouver and Hawaii!) While in Vancouver, we saw Marc Crawford the NHL coach at the airport. I know, I know...BIG DEAL... I guess you hockey fans out there might appreciate this :-)

Anyhow, while we were sitting in the plane (West Jet) waiting to go to Hawaii, the crew was going through the usual preflight announcement. As they were wrapping up, the man sitting next to me got up, went to the front, and the crew handed him the mic. I thought, "Hm...this is interesting..." I thought he must be a doctor or something...

Then he said, "Hello everyone, My name is Sean Durfy, President and CEO of WestJet, and I will be flying with all of you this evening to Honolulu. Just wanted to say hello and thank you all for flying WestJet."

I was sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting for him to say, "As a token of appreciation for all you choosing us, I would like to announce that all of you are flying for free on this flight. It will be my small personal gift to you!" No such luck (sigh).

He was actually a very down to earth kind of guy...he flew economy with the rest of us (well, actually I am not sure if there was a business class on that flight), and he was really friendly with the flight crew. Since I was sitting next to him, I got to listen as he chatted with each flight attendent about his or her job. Apparently WestJet is the only airline in the world that is growing, and they had just ordered 40 more new planes!

Anyways, just thought I'd pass along a couple of cool encounters :)

He ain't heavy...He's my brother

I was doing some late night channel surfing in my hotel room in Vancouver when I came across a concert featuring popular old tunes. One of the songs performed was the moving ballad: "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother". When introducing the song, the singer explained the origin of the title. Over the years there had been different theories as to where the title came from. The most popular one being a magazine picture published in the 1940's showing a young boy carrying his frail, polio stricken brother on his back. The caption of the photo reads: "He ain's heavy; he's my brother."

As I listened to the song, a quiet wave of saddness washed over me. I wondered why, during the darkest moment of my life, men who were supposed to be my brother abandoned me and casted me out rather than carrying me. Time has passed. But the wound remains open.

Call it another baby step forward, but tonight, as the tide of saddness gently receded, I I found myself not wishing for answers anymore. (Afterall, those who can provide the answers have long since gone on their merry way) Instead, I wished for opportunities for my life and experience to be useful to those who have been hurt, and perhaps like me, have been left by the roadside. As I stumble along, I hope there will be opportunites where I can pick up another person, put him on my back and set out on the road ahead together.

Jesus once said to those who are weary and "heavy ladened" to go to him to discover that "his burden is light". I have only lately begun to see the wisdom behind those words: We don't get to live "burden free" lives. We do, at times, get to choose what burden to carry. I have experienced the crushing heaviness of trying to carry the burden of the past. Perhaps as I slowly learn to look upward, forward and outward to see others whom my life can touch, as I learn to help carry the burden of others on my back, I will discover the truth behind the title of the song: "He ain't heavy, (for) He's my brother".

Another nice day!

Yesterday we went with a few good friends on a hiking trip to Belfountain to watch the Fall colours and take some pictures.  We had a great time!  I think we are most proud of Taylor:  When we got to the trail, the sign reads: "This trail is rated as challenging, please make sure you are wearing proper footwear with ankle support".  I thought, "U-oh, Taylor is not going to make it..."  But to our surprise, she trekked through the WHOLE trail without ever complaining once or wanting to be carried (well, except in this picture :-P )  Stay tuned as I will be posting a couple more pics from the day :-)

The Danger of Good Intentions...

Wow...who would have thought an "innocent" post like the last one would generate so many comments and strong words. I feel as though I should start a new post to say a few things "in response to the responses"...

First of all, in case I have not been clear enough, I appreciate everyone who posted a comment. Obviously I don't agree with every one of them, but I am going to take a chance here and assume that every one who posted did so out of good intentions towards me, and for that I am thankful.

Which leaves us with what I think is an important question: Why is it that "well intended" words and action can wound so deeply? Why does it happen so frequently in the context of the church community? The church ought to be a place of healing, but yet you and I both know that for many, many, many people, their deepest wounds have been inflicted by those in the church. More times than not by people who claimed to have acted and spoken out of "good intentions". I know that is certainly the case with my experience.

I believe a large part of the reason lies in the fact that in the church, we have a nasty habit of making two dangerous and arrogant assumptions:

We assume we know God, and...

We assume we know people.

Take the question of "repentence" for instance. We wave the "R" word like it is some kind of magic wand. "Have you repented?" "You need to repent!" "Your problem is that you have not repented!" "God is waiting for you to repent!" "Just repent and everything else will be ok." "You obviously have not repented or else you will not be feeling/acting this way."

Question: How do we know the person has not repented?

Question: Do we know what was/is happening in the person's life? Perhaps the person needs more than someone waving the "R" word in front of his face?

Question: If we don't know what has happened and what the person has experienced, how on earth can we question the person's feelings of anger?

Question: How do we know what God is doing in the person's life? May be, just may be God isn't sitting and tapping His feet, "waiting" for the person to "repent"?

Question: Perhaps whether a person has "repented" or not is truly between that person and God, and none of our business. God knows. The person knows. We do not know. Perhaps our business is to be a friend who will walk with the person?

When we as a church simply want to ask the big "R" question to people who have made mistakes, we lose sight of the communal nature of sin. We simply want to know if the person who had sinned has repented. Perhaps there are things that the community itself needs to repent of at the same time.

I am a hockey player. I know that when a goalie makes a mistake and let in a goal, the mistake is rarely his alone. Sometimes it started by a winger giving the puck away in the opposite end, a centerman failing to back check, a defensemen failing to pick up the shooter, and then finally the puck is in the net. That's why when a team gives up a goal, the hockey statistics score a "-1" to every player who is on the ice at the time.

Perhaps that is the true spirit behind Jesus' words in John 8: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone..."

Daddy's Great Helper!

Today I had to host our booth at a community event called "Taste of the Hill". It was a food fair type event where restaurants representing different ethnic groups have booths to showcase their food. We usually put a booth at these events so the community sees our name and learn about our services.

The original plan was for me to work the booth, and for mommy and daughter to enjoy the event and taste test all the foods. But after a while, my little girl said she'd rather help Daddy! So, I put one of our polo shirts on her (which became a full length skirt on her), gave her a stack of our brochures and she proceeded to stop every passerby and handed them one! I think by the end of the day, she gave out more brochures than anyone of us!! She became the magnet drawing people to our booth and gave me opportunites to chat with people about what we do. I think we might have stumbled upon a new marketing scheme here.... :-)

What a COOL workshop!

Today I went to a very cool workshop on social enterprises, which are revenue generating activities undertaken by non-profit organizations to fund their mission. The workshop took place in the Centre for Social Innovation, which is a large modernized loft-type office space that is dedicated to the mission: "To spark and support new ideas that are tackling the social, environmental, economic and cultural challenges we face today." You can find out more about this innovative project by visiting their website: http://www.socialinnovation.ca/

During the workshop I had the opportunity to look around at the different agencies that are housed in the centre. It is an amazing mosaic of different causes: anti-racism, promotion of the arts, housing for the poor, employment opportunities for the marginalized, just to name a few. The whole idea of the centre is to be a place where the line between the profit seeking world and the non-profit world begins to blur. More and more, that is the paradigm shift that is happening in the non-profit sector.

These are such exciting and challenging times to be involved in the non-profit world. I am frightened out of my mind because I know so little and am so unqualified. But I am learning tons everyday. As I sat in the centre today, in the midst of folks who use their entrepreneurial talents not to maximize profits for its own sake, but to further each of their own sense of mission to build healthier communities and to make the world a better place, I felt as though I have been given a sneak preview of what the Kingdom looks like. More and more, I feel as though the 17 years I spent in Christian ministry was preparation for my "new life". Even though I no longer belong to my "old world", I am seeing the Kingdom at work in places like the centre today. I hope that as I continue down this journey, my mind will continue to be stretched, my sights will continue to be lifted, and I will continue to learn what it means to truly be a part of something greater than myself